I was just thinking...

Name:

I've become addicted to "A"s (I've gone back to college), love eating and cooking everything but goat cheese, I always try to please everyone and laugh without wetting myself or snorting. I love reading and keeping up with current events, I value my friends. And most especially, I'm a proud mother of four and an excessively proud grandmother of five.

Monday, December 31, 2007

...I'm always the worrier...

...and New Year's Eve, for me, is the night I worry most of all. About drunk drivers. And about what the new year will have in store. Scott and I are spending a quiet New Year's Eve alone. We will stay home and poke each other trying to stay awake, and we will take turns checking in with each of our kids hoping that they are safely off the roads. When did I get so nervous about drunk drivers to the point where I just want to stay home on holidays? On the news just now they said that in Virginia only three people died during last New Year's Eve, while eighteen died during Thanksgiving week, and twenty-some died over Fourth of July. This should be reassuring to me, shouldn't it?!

I'm thinking about how last New Year's Eve, I could not have imagined: (1) that Matthew's friend, Steven, would not live to see this next year. Or (2) that I would find out that the 4 1/2 years I have spent busting my butt in my college classes...that the majority of the 68 credit hours I have worked so hard to earn, would not be transferrable to a four-year college (I went to a guidance counselor 4 1/2 years ago, and followed his (mis-)"advice"). Or (3) that my daughters, Monica and Meeghan, would still be living in Florida. Or (4) that Mallory and Matthew would grow up so soon...I am suffering from "empty nest" syndrome, and I don't like it one bit. Or (5) that I would feel so frigging old today...and act like my parents, who never bothered, once they got to this age, to stay up to ring in the New Year! I always thought of myself as a party girl, and the idea of a quiet evening home on New Year's Eve, poking each other and trying to stay standing up or drinking gallons of coffee to keep awake, is depressing.

I am hoping this year to find: (1) a female Tibetan spaniel, (2) lots of money in an old purse, (3) my sense of humor that I seem to have misplaced lately, (4) enough energy and motivation to try something new, different, and exciting.

I hope that in the next year, my friends and family all find happiness, or at least contentment, keep good health, and find something to make them laugh their ass off every day. As I become more aware of the speed of life, it seems more important to me that I lose the inhibitions I seem to have acquired during the past thirty-some years, and return to the wild and crazy attitude I had way back in the day. I have a couple of hours before Scott gets home from work, to come up with a plan to do something that (hopefully) won't get me/us arrested. Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

...as Roseanne Rosannadana said, "It's always something..."

Well, things have been pretty busy around here. My catering partner Vicky and I prepared food and decorations for a young girl's bat mitzvah in mid-November...for about 125-150 people. It turned out very nice, and the little girl and her mom kept coming over and hugging us.

Then came Thanksgiving, and we had a houseful. I hardly had time to clear all of the Hawaiian theme decorations and stuff off the dining room table, which has become the staging site for all catering projects, before Monica and her new boyfriend arrived...followed the next morning by Meeghan and Mike (home from his 6-month-long cruise) and the grandchildren. We stayed busy all week, and the time rushed past. We had a great time with the Schmoopies, and even had a chance to take them ice skating (it was 60-some degrees out, but they managed to keep the ice solid and smooth).

After everyone left, it was time to get ready to fix decorations and cook food for a 50th wedding anniversary; we were expecting 125 guests, but over 200 showed up. The champagne fountain went on the blink...that was the only problem; we just used a ladle and nobody was the wiser. Thank goodness we always prepare way too much food.

I barely had time to put that stuff away, in fact half of the decorations are shoved under the table, and it was time to get ready for a 65th birthday party, which we did the night before last (December 14th). We live for the compliments we receive! We need to rethink our pricing, because our business has picked up lately, and that tells me our prices may be too low. I think people are out shopping around and discovered our "bargain basement" pricing.

Between catering jobs (another one coming up on January 11th), I've been working on homework, a classroom observation, several papers, and studying for my finals. Grades were posted today, and my hard work paid off. All "As"! My dad would have been so proud.

Well, you may (or may not) know that I have been wanting to adopt a Tibetan spaniel since Mama (our "Tibbie") died in 1980. We adopted Pokey, our Pekingese, in 1990 instead. Since Pokey died last year, I've been looking on line trying to find a Tibetan spaniel to adopt. Female, light colored, any age. I subscribe to a site called "puppyfind.com", and each day I get an e-mail from them with a short list of breeders who are advertising their Tibbie puppies for sale. I look at each and every one of them, but either the dogs are dark colored (a problem when trying to pick fleas off them all summer here in Virginia), or the breeders are on the other side of the country. So, you can imagine my excitement at finding a breeder (the first one in over 365 days of looking) located on the East coast! I contacted the breeder, and got a prompt response back from her. Although I was looking for a honey-colored one for the reason stated above, she said in her e-mail that she'd sold a puppy to a missionary who had to relocate to "West Africa," and that if I contacted him, he would probably be delighted to let us adopt his precious puppy. I did, and he appeared thrilled to find a home for his "baby" named Betty. The photo he sent was of an adorable, but sable-colored baby Tibbie. It didn't matter, I fell in love with her, and was ready to send the $300 he requested for shipping costs via Virgin Express Pet Delivery, or something like that...Virgin Express. I called Western Union to find out the nearest location, while my skeptical husband looked up Virgin Express on the Internet. We had concerns about quarantines, among a whole list of worries. He found Virgin Express on Google, and followed the link. It took him to an article in the Orlando Sentinel newspaper in Florida about puppy scams. We read each and every entry, and found out that our baby-to-be is non-existent and is only part of a huge, nationwide scam. All of the e-mails were nearly identical, or at the least, very similar. I wrote to the managing editor Ann Hellmuth and explained our situation to her. This morning I read her reply. She said this is so huge that she doesn't even know how to handle it, and that is likely a job for the FBI. I contacted one of our local television stations', "Channel 3 Taking Action" and forwarded all of my e-mail exchanges to them. At this holiday season, when people are looking for something very precious and special to give to someone they love, a puppy seems like a wonderful idea. Especially one who is in a state of limbo between a far-away continent and a warm and loving home. Please don't be taken in by a scam like this. Go and visit a breeder, or better yet, go to the nearest SPCA and give a home to another doggie in dire straits.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

...huh?



A friend wrote:

"We are having a Chanukah potluck dinner at our synagogue, is it okay to bring this?"

Response:

"As long as you don't serve cheese with it"

This E-mail made the rounds here in Virginia Beach. Personally, we all thought it was a hilarious joke. Today my catering partner, Vicky, came over to talk about an upcoming event, and mentioned that the above sign was real, and that it came from a very classy grocery store in New York City. I looked it up, and found the article below. I went onto the Balducci website, and found an apology. We were able to laugh at this faux pas -- no one called for the beheading of either the person who made the boo boo or the store manager. We all ought to maintain a sense of humor, dontchathink?

Balducci's offers ham for Chanukah

BY BILL HUTCHINSON
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Thursday, December 6th 2007, 4:00 AM

Balducci's in Greenwich Village advertises tasty boneless spiral ham as 'Delicious for Chanukah.' Store blamed a clerk for the gaffe.
Oy vey! Pork for Chanukah?

The Greenwich Village gourmet grocery store, Balducci's, has become the butt of the Jewish holiday by advertising its boneless hams as "Delicious for Chanukah."

Manhattan novelist Nancy Kay Shapiro, 46, spotted the kosher faux pas while browsing the meat section Saturday at the chain's outpost at Eighth Ave. and W. 14th St.

When Shapiro went back Sunday, she took photos of the unorthodox display promoting boneless spiral-cut hams for $8.99 a pound, petite smoked hams for $6.99 a pound and boneless smoked hams for $6.29 a pound.

Instead of pointing out the mistake to management, she posted the snapshots on her blog to "amuse others."

"I just thought it was funny," Shapiro, a self-described "unobservant Jew," said. "I wasn't offended in any way. I just thought, here's somebody who knows nothing about what Jews eat."

Shapiro said that when she went back to the store Tuesday, the first night of Chanukah, the signs had vanished.

A Balducci's official was so verklempt* about the error he didn't want to speak on the record. He fessed up that "it was a mistake," blaming it on a stock clerk who normally doesn't work the meat department.

He referred all other questions to the company's marketing department in Connecticut.
whutchinson@nydailynews.com

So after all the Chanukah celebrating is over, the presents put away, the wrapping paper and potato peelings discarded, the candle wax scraped off the top of the buffet, and the grease from eight days of frying potato pancakes has been scrubbed off every kitchen surface, you may wonder what we Jews do until New Years Eve! We watch the news about everyone out running around at the shopping malls, kick back and watch some good TV shows, go out and enjoy the peacefulness at anywhere Christmas presents are not being sold, or watch clever U-Tube videos of what other Jews are doing. Watch this: Chinese Food on Christmas

*verklempt: Extremely emotional. On the verge of tears. (From an online Yiddish dictionary -- "Yiddishkeit")

...here's some helpful information when visiting here during the holidays

If you are from Tidewater you will love this! If not, it will help you when you come to visit.

For the purposes of this document, I'll refer to the entire area as "Norfolk"...pronounced exactly that way by Northerners who settle here. Southerners who settle here pronounce it "Nawfalk" and everyone else calls it "Norfick".
- The word "Norfolk" actually originated in southern England, as a combination of the words "North" and "Folk", their way of referring to their brethren to the north.
- Norfolk is composed entirely of Roads under Construction. The year-round fairly mild weather allows for year-round construction. The only way to get into downtown is to move there. Don't worry about getting out. Those arrangements will be made by your next of kin.
-All directions start with "Get on 64..." and somewhere include the phrase, "Turn at the 7-Eleven." Most people navigate the area using Interstate 64 because of oddball location naming. The immediate problem here is that, in order to access western portions of the area, you have to travel I-64 East.
- I-64, the largest interstate in the state, has two exits that serve Virginia Beach, the largest city in Virginia. The land mass of the beach area itself, is only about one percent of the city's total land area.
- The city of Portsmouth is not at the port's mouth -- that would be Norfolk.
- The city of Chesapeake is named for the Chesapeake Bay,that is 15 miles away.
- Newport News is not a newspaper. The city is, in fact, served by The Daily Press newspaper, based in Hampton.
- South Norfolk is in Chesapeake and "Suffolk", an old English combination of "South" and "Folk" is not south of Norfolk, but west.
- Hampton Boulevard is in Norfolk and does not go to Hampton.
- Northampton Boulevard is not in the north of Hampton. It is 22 miles southeast of Hampton, in Virginia Beach.
- Chesapeake Boulevard runs parallel to Hampton Boulevard and does not go to Chesapeake.
- Virginia Beach Boulevard starts in Norfolk and only becomes a boulevard when you reach Virginia Beach. Portsmouth Boulevard is in Chesapeake.
- There is no Norfolk Boulevard but there is a Norfolk Avenue in Virginia Beach. It does not go to Norfolk.
- Atlantic Avenue parallels the Atlantic Ocean. Strangely, so does Pacific Avenue.
- Chesapeake Beach, nicknamed "Chic's Beach", is in Virginia Beach. Chicks do go there, but it's named after a guy, Chic Leddington.
- Meanwhile, Ocean View Avenue has no view of the ocean unless you use a high-powered telescope and a crane.
- Bayview is too far from the Bay to see it and Riverview has no view of any rivers.
- Shore Drive has no shore but runs along beside miles and miles of military bases.
- Military Highway, an apt name for the main thoroughfare of a primarily military area, will not actually take you to any military bases. Ironically, Independence Boulevard ends at one.
- The Northwest River is actually in the Southeastern part of the area.
- Deep Creek contains no deep creeks.
- Great Bridge is an affluent area accessed by crossing a tiny drawbridge.
- London Bridge Road has no connection to London and has no bridges. It is, however, falling apart.
- The area of Dam Neck contains no dams. Oceana Boulevard does not come near the ocean.
- Norfolk Naval Shipyard is in Portsmouth.
- One of the largest Coast Guard bases on the east coast is in Portsmouth, 21 miles from the coast.
- Hilltop, a mildly affluent shopping area, is not on a hill or near a hill. Actually when it was all fields prior to 1963, you would notice only a slightly higher elevation in this area!
- There are no cars at the Chrysler Museum.
- Scope is not a mouthwash -- it's a convention center in Norfolk.

Sometime, just for fun, stop and ask a local for directions to "downtown Virginia Beach." Chances are, you will be sent to Norfolk. Virginia Beach has no downtown*. They claim to but it is in fact a shopping district with five squat brown office buildings. And, no hotels.

*Fall 2007 Update: there are now a hotel, several highrises still under construction, and a peforming arts center that just opened a couple of weeks ago. In an effort to make a few more bucks, some developers decided to buy up some underutilized land and create a downtown. This downtown includes some condominiums, which offer a view of the roof of the shopping mall across the street, countless automobile dealerships, the expressway, and some lower to middle class neighborhoods (where the property taxes have no doubt doubled, although the houses are still 60s-era).

No one carpools here, allowing the HOV-reversible lanes to be used by skateboarders during rush hours. All the tollbooths were taken down a few years ago, creating one less place for traffic accidents to occur.

Everyone in the country lived here once or knew someone who did. You will be hard- pressed to find a native of the area. Everyone here is from somewhere else, due mostly to the fact that Norfolk contains the largest naval base in the world. When you curse the drivers here for not being able to drive, you are cursing the drivers of the entire country.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

...about something other than school work, for a change.

I just don't know how my daughter Mallory does it. I am straining my brain taking three courses each semester. My classes are in early childhood education. Mallory, on the other hand is a premed student. Some of her classes are biochemistry, histology, and physics. It has taken me five years to get close to my associate's degree. Mallory is now in her second senior year; not content to graduate with 120 credits, she has added on more science classes. I believe upon graduation, she will have taken nearly every biological science course offered, and will be graduating with 170 credits.
I will still be plodding along for another five years until I earn my degree. Mallory should be completing dental or medical school by that time. She's trying to decide if she wants to be a dentist or an endocrinologist. She is putting applications in at the Medical College of Virginia in Richmond for dental school, and at Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, and will accept whichever invitation comes first. What a frigging brainiac--to think that the daughter of an underachieving mother and a father from the armpit of New Jersey has gotten as far as she has--is amazing to me. She is very dedicated to her studies. While her friends are out partying, she has her nose buried in her books. We are incredibly proud of her, and know that all the hard work and dedication will pay off for her. She will be the first person in our family who will have an easier life. Her grandparents would be blown away to see the genius that their drifty daughter produced!
My finals for the semester are done. I've studied my keister off--not easy for someone who didn't give a rat's ass about school in high school, and has procrastinated about college since 1966. I'm sorry that I didn't do this before my parents died; I know I was a big disappointment to them. I'm sure they thought I was a frigging idiot for all of my life. At least I was smart enough to give birth to Mallory!